Today, my office was really quiet and I had a lot of time alone. In this city in general I spend a lot of time inside my own head. It seems weird, in such a city where its known for its hustle and bustle and tons of people all around all the time, but really, you are usually quite alone. Commuting to work, at your desk, going to lunch. There are rare opportunities to interact.
I think that may be the reason I reacted so strongly to my co-worker cutting me off at the one time I was able to 'mingle.' A catering service brought in food and I was relieved to go get something to eat, and it was my actual "lunchbreak hour" so naturally I thought I would be able to take my break and I got so excited. My two favorite people were in grabbing food at the same time, one of them having recently returned from a trip so I was excited and I went to go and make sure that it was ok for me to take my break to where I was rudely taken aback when the answer was no. It hurt, more than it should and I can only really pin it to the fact that I am actually physically craving human interaction. Now, this may be an exaggeration, but at least fairly close to the truth.
Now, for anyone who knows me, knows I'm a terrible liar and I'm even worse at hiding my feelings. So, when said person realized that I wasn't emotionally ok, she asked if I was ok, and I lied. She didn't press and she let me go, but didn't fix the problem. I went to lunch, alone, because by the time I was released my two favorite people had already departed. I came back, still fuming a bit but was relieved to engage in quite the interesting conversation with one of my other co-workers and maybe that was God's little wake up call to me for the day, because it was actually more of a relief to talk to this co-worker about things that were weighing on my mind than to talk to my two favorite co-workers about things that were of no-consequence.
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