Family

I was looking through Christmas pictures, and old notes that I had written down during my time in London and as I looked at pictures of my brothers and I, I just remember this quote my grandma said.  She said, "That kind of love will kill you."  I laughed and laughed when she said it and as I looked at pictures I was reminded of it, because what had her saying this was my brothers were in the habit of all hugging me at the same time and repeatedly saying, "but we love you, but we love you."  Because they know how much I detest cuddling and intense closeness.  I hate it.  So of course, being my brothers they know just the right way to annoy me.  And my Grandma said this to me as I ran away from their hugs and was seeking refuge in the bathroom.  Love them and miss them terribly. Doesn't that just figure.

NY Celebs... All the ones I've seen in the city.

I almost ran into him with my stroller when I was nannying.  I turned down a street to get out a snack for the munchkin and then realized no one else was on the block and there were tons and tons of trailers.  I quicklly got the snack out, handed it to the munchkin and started to turn down the block.  As I did so, I almost ran smack dab into Matt Bomer.  I did a double take and said sorry, as he skillfully avoided my stroller.  A girl with a headset was escorting him and she looked back at me and nodded as if to say, "yes, it's really him."

This couple was running in central park together, again, another near disaster with my stroller, we almost crashed into each other as we came around a bend.  The stopped, and said, "oh what a cutie." and then continued on their way.

He was walking with his two daughters, me, again with my stroller, was walking around Times Square and we crossed paths.  I wanted to ask for his autograph, but I figured that was inappropriate.

I've seen him three times.  I think he lives on my block.  I've seen him running and then twice at the Starbucks by my apartment.

He was standing outside of Urban Outfitters talking on his cell phone.

It was ironic when I saw her with my roommate because we were actually talking about spotting famous people in the city and my roommate just stops talking.  I look up to see what/who she is staring at and then I see "Miranda" standing on the sidewalk talking with three other moms in front of a playground. 

I got off the  train on my way home, and I look up in time to see this man pass by me in a hurry. The people in front of me have stopped and are gaping at the man that just passed me.  I did a double take as well and walked right up to them and say, "was that..." "Yeah."  And that was it.  I just laughed and kept walking home.

Oh New York, sometimes you astound me.

Coffee date.

I was on my way to babysit and knew I was going to be early, so I decided to stop for some coffee.  As I waited for them to call out my order I got a text from the mom saying they were running late.  Good thing I stopped.  So I got my coffee and sat down at a table with two chairs and started reading on my ipad.  As I'm sitting there, in walks this brood of two moms and about 6 kids all under the age of 6.  They are a little frazzled and one of the mom heads to the back to find some seats while the other gets in line.  Well, one of the kids didn't get the memo that they were supposed to either stay in line or head to the back.  No, instead she marched right up to my table, pulled out the chair, put her bottle on the table and then climbed up onto the chair.  I stare at her, just smiling, because what else do you do in a moment like that.  People at the tables around us start to look over.  Finally, I say, "Hi there!"  She smiles and says, "hi." Not shy at all, and then picks up her bottle."I've got milk!" She says, really proud of that fact.  I reply, "I see that. Is it strawberry milk?"  I asked, because I notice that it's pink. "yeah, strawberry." She says with a big grin.  People are just watching us chitchat like old friends.  I'm looking at her mom, making sure she isn't frantically looking for her 3 year old daughter.  She isn't, she's worrying over drink orders and assuming whichever children aren't with her have followed the other mom to a table.  Finally, her older brother comes over, he's about 5.  Cute as a button.  He shyly looks up at me and then his sister and whispers, "come on." to her.  She doesn't listen.  So he grabs her bottle from the table and starts to move back towards the rest of the group he came with.  She looks at me and frowns, like she's asking, "aren't you going to do something?"  I look at the little boy and then her and say, "he just took your milk, you should probably go get it."  She smiles at me, like thats a great idea and hops down off the chair and follows her brother.  The guy at the table next to me leans over and says, "apparently you're good company" with a grin.  I laugh and say, "I guess so."  It was such a sweet and innocent interaction.  The family moves back to the front, once one of the moms has collected all the drinks.  The little brother keeps sneaking covert glances at me, and then turning his head when I smile back at him.  The little girl climbs into her stroller and waves at me as they go on their way. 

23.

The only time I've thought about the age 23 was when my Sophomore year roommate told me, she didn't really care about turning 21 but she could not wait to be 23.  I thought it was the strangest thing and so fitting for her.  I love her to pieces and now we are both living out our 23rd year.  She recently text me that she was sad that her birthday was so close because that meant she would no longer be her favorite age.

It's funny, but I've found that 23, so far, is my favorite too.

And the other night, as I purchased wine, my 50ish cashier took in my ID and turned to me and said, "You are the best age.  If I could trade places with you, I would in a heartbeat."  It made me smile. And appreciate my age even more.

Clean up on the Cereal aisle

I got to the grocery store and I already was on the verge of tears.  I wanted to cry just looking at the tiny aisles that seemed to be shrinking and the people that were packed into each one.  Now, I should tell you, I already hate grocery shopping, it's on my top 5 list of least favorite things to do ever.  Right after going to the dentist and getting a shot at the doctor's.  I HATE IT.  It's a weird anxiety I have, a kind of self consciousness I developed.  When I lived in California I would either be on the phone, or take someone with me, making it a social outing rather than a necessity.  Here, in New York, everything about it incites a panic attack.  The fact that grocery stores here are about 1/3 the size of store in CA, but still to try to pack in all the same amount of items.  Not to mention the fact that I am already dreading the trip home, I already know I'm going to have to carry this about 10 blocks and up 66 stairs. I get bumped into, God only knows by how many people.  Its like New Yorkers think the world is a real life version of bumper cars.  I walk down the aisles with my basket, not the kind you push, the kind you hold.  Struggling under its weight.  there's a lady in her fur coat, sunglasses on, (INSIDE) who rudely plows through me, God forbid she say "excuse me."  I walk aisle after aisle, dodging people, moving out of the way of kids and men on their bluetooths.  And I make it to the cereal aisle, and I start to go for something healthy, but with the mood I'm in I go for something familiar and sweet, Reese Puffs!  I start to turn, and realize I'm trapped between someone actually pushing a cart through this maze and 3 people with baskets and one forlorn tear actually escapes.  I hate this even more.  I'm not one of those people who cry, but I wanted to just sit in the aisle and bawl my head off.  I finally make it around the aisle and I fervently look at sign after sign, looking for something, but see nothing.  I go up and down and up and down and in two circles and finally get up the courage to ask the two workers I've already passed about 4 times, another thing on my list of top things I hate, asking people for helm.  But I'm at my wit's end, so I ask, "Where's the coffee?"  One of them frowns and then talks to me in Spanish, I'm not fluent, but I understand and my face lights up I'm sure.  I head in the direction he said and find the coffee. And then I get the heck out of my own personal nightmare, also known as the grocery store.

10 + Oddities about me

Continuing from my last post, stemming off of having too much time to think, there are recently things I've discovered that I want to, in typical me fashion, list out (in no particular order)
1 - I hate washing containers to be recycled, for the most part, I don't.
2 - I hate washing my hands (sounds gross, I know, I do it, don't get me wrong, but I hate it)
      Mainly because it dries them out and I have to use lotion, which I hate even more.
3 - I miss my friends.  ALL of them. I miss them and I love them and I'm happy for what they are doing with their lives, but mostly I miss them.
4 - I'm really bad at remembering anyone's birthday that I learned after middle school
5 - I hate when people tell me I'm too loud.  It makes me feel like I'm 5 all over again.  I can count on one hand the amount of people that have told me "Don't apologize for being loud, it's who you are, never make apologizes for that." And I remember the exact moments those very few individuals said that to me.  As well, loudness reminds me of family or my house because I can't remember a time when I've been with family and we were quiet.
6 - I don't particularly love roommates.  I had a several whom I would share a room with in a heart beat, but in the grand scheme of things, not a fan.  I sometimes feel, again, like I'm 5 years old.
7 - I LOVE tv. And I miss having one.
8 - I like blogging, but sometimes I censor myself, but recently I cleaned out my blogs, the ones I follow and had bookmarked and decided to become more intentional and start only reading those who stand up for what they believe in, and have more to say than just pictures of what they are wearing (no offense to fashion bloggers, your outfits are gorgeous) but if I'm gonna read your blog I want to hear your voice in it and be inspired by it, just like on my blog, I hope to write things that are encouraging and no longer hiding worrying about what people may or may not think.
9 - I miss my car.
10 - I miss real grocery stores and friends who would cook for me. And along with that, I hate cooking and coming up with meal ideas... I'd rather eat cereal.
11 - I miss teachers, people's whose job it was literally to teach you things.  I miss having people like that, that I can solidly count on to turn to.  I think that's part of why I like blogs so much, I love learning from other people.
12 - When it comes to my dishes, if I leave them in the sink, and you happen to do dishes before I get home, please do them, when you leave them, I feel like its a personal attack, a vendetta, because you had to actively think about not doing them.  I will return the favor, I promise, and sometimes I do yours anyways.
13 - I hate stairs and public transportation
14 - I wish I was a morning person (some days) I feel like I would be more productive.

Thankful for unanswered prayers.

Today, my office was really quiet and I had a lot of time alone.  In this city in general I spend a lot of time inside my own head.  It seems weird, in such a city where its known for its hustle and bustle and tons of people all around all the time, but really, you are usually quite alone.  Commuting to work, at your desk, going to lunch.  There are rare opportunities to interact.
I think that may be the reason I reacted so strongly to my co-worker cutting me off at the one time I was able to 'mingle.'  A catering service brought in food and I was relieved to go get something to eat, and it was my actual "lunchbreak hour" so naturally I thought I would be able to take my break and I got so excited.  My two favorite people were in grabbing food at the same time, one of them having recently returned from a trip so I was excited and I went to go and make sure that it was ok for me to take my break to where I was rudely taken aback when the answer was no.  It hurt, more than it should and I can only really pin it to the fact that I am actually physically craving human interaction.  Now, this may be an exaggeration, but at least fairly close to the truth.
Now, for anyone who knows me, knows I'm a terrible liar and I'm even worse at hiding my feelings. So, when said person realized that I wasn't emotionally ok, she asked if I was ok, and I lied.  She didn't press and she let me go, but didn't fix the problem.  I went to lunch, alone, because by the time I was released my two favorite  people had already departed.  I came back, still fuming a bit but was relieved to engage in quite the interesting conversation with one of my other co-workers and maybe that was God's little wake up call to me for the day, because it was actually more of a relief to talk to this co-worker about things that were weighing on my mind than to talk to my two favorite co-workers about things that were of no-consequence.

Nerd alert

My nerd side and my romantic side colliding
http://girls-gone-geek.com/tag/batwondy/

1st Lady

I'm impressed by her on a regular basis.

Curiosity

As we pack inside the train, I notice this man with an Avengers backpack on his lap.  I look over, and see a little three year old boy sitting to his Right  His eyes are full of wonderment and a shy smile graces his too cute little face.  As we go one stop the train capacity does not shift, but we get to a major hub and it seems the whole car transitions. The little boy suddenly wide eyed and weary turns to his dad as he asks, "Daddy, what's happening??!?!"  The genuine curiosity of a simple act seemed so sweet and innocent.

Fun at work

So a couple weeks ago we had an office meeting about health plans, which in all actuality should have been ridiculously boring. However, most people don't work with E (name shortened for privacy).  So we are sitting in the meeting and we're at the end and the woman asks if we have any questions.  E then asks, "So would this cover a trip to the vet?"  And without missing a beat, the office manager of sorts, a beautiful, strict, Russian woman who basically runs the office simply turns to him straight faced and asks in her accent "Are you a cat? (pause - no response) That's what I thought, then no."  I had to walk out of the room, I was dying of laughter.

Good perspective.

"Life is always adjusting accordingly to what it needs us to pay more attention to, learn from, grow from, or it keeps putting us through the same situation because we didn’t “get it” the first time. Or keeps throwing shit our way so we can learn to love ourselves, instead of relying on everyone else to assure us".

- Tristan Prettyman

found on one of my best friend's blogs (sale el sol)